To Secure a Gilbird
by Something In The asdknasd
Summary: Have you ever imagined what it would be like to fall in love with the awesomest country there is? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! And if you haven't...then what the HELL are you doing here? ಠ ಠ By reading this awesome fanfiction, you will awesomely be able to have an awesome time with the ever so awesome Gilbert Beilshmidt. Are you up for the challenge? Prussia X Reader
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

**Guten tag! Alright guys and gals, this is my first "X Reader" fanfic for ANYTHING. I plan on taking this pretty far and actually having DECENT development. A lot of fanfictions in this format have the character and the reader just instantly falling for each other. I wanted to turn over a new leaf and expand the genre (but don't expect it to take a million years. The next chapter will be full of surprises! *wink wink nudge nudge*)! Please, _please, _tell me what you think! Good and bad, bad and good, just lay it to me straight. I'm a big girl and can handle criticism. ****ಠ_ಠ**

**ENJOY THE STORY!**

You always found _it_ funny. Funny that _it _caused so many disputes. Funny that _it _was looked down upon by an unfortunate many. Funny that _it _was so hard to obtain, yet people still manage to throw it away as though _it _had been nothing to begin with.

No, _not_ "sex".

**Love.**

Heh, how hilarious that most would believe you to be referring to intercourse when you actually meant the very feeling that should inspire such a…...er…..."vivid display of affection". It was not founded solely by lust or physical desire.

No. It was founded by the very passion that swarms our spirits. You had always longed to find your own passion, to share it with another person, even though you put on a mask of "coolness" and "boredom" regarding the subject…..you could only imagine that you were one of a select few that desired this very thing so strongly.

_It _was a real piece of shit, ya know? However golden it may appear, deep, deep down…it was shit. Thankfully, though, beneath that _shit_ was an even deeper layer of diamond. It took a real trooper to push through those outer coatings and finally reach the stone one most yearned for. You may perform confidently, but this was the one topic in which your bravery wavered. That frightened you. And things weren't made easier by that certain _pest _who continually betrayed your personal boundaries and always managed to _tick you off_ past limits you had previously thought impossible to succeed. That arse somehow managed to strike every single nerve that could possibly be bashed against the hard surface of emotions while maintaining a certain air about himself that you found nearly impossible to resist. Why is it that you kept moving towards him, despite the fact that he was the world biggest son of a—

"Guten tag, [NAME]! I decided to grace you vith my presence. How does it feel to be ze luckiest person evar?"

You instantly grimaced at the thick accent suddenly hurtled in your direction. And much to your distress, it was immediately accompanied by a pair of strong arms lightly draping themselves across your shoulders. For a split second, your wall of collectivity was cracked and you felt a slight blush flash across the bridge of your nose. No way would you allow this to happen again! Regaining your composure, you shoved him off, spinning around on your heel to face the bodily intruder. "Touch me again, Gilly-boy, and I swear to whatever-heavenly-essence is in the sky that I'll rip off your arms and feed them to my cat!" He casually placed those very threatened limbs at his hips in a mock interpretation of your own pose. "Oh, touchy! Somebody iz in a bad mood! Tsk tsk, frauline, and here I vent thinking zat ve could end ze day on a good note." With a classic smirk and the phony surprised widening of his crimson eyes, the male folded his appendages and stared down at you.

God, how you hated that Gilbert Beilschmidt had to stare _down_ at you.

"For me, a good note would be a note that didn't include _you_."

"Ouch. You almost hurt my feelings vith zat one." He placed a hand on the center of his chest, raising his head so his chin was aimed in your direction. "Now I zink you owe me a drink." You released a tiny, humored snort in response to that ridiculousness, turning to shut the entrance to your locker. "Fat chance, Beilschmidt." Mentioned door then slammed to a closing position, ending your own retort.

"Vhy not?"

"Because I don't like you, so the only drink you'd be getting from me would be filled with poison."

"Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!" He waved his hand back and forth." I'm too awesome for you to not like me."

"No, you're _ego _is too big for me to _like _you." You turned again, starting your stride to the exit of the school. The hall was basically empty, leaving only slight traces of the previous students who had walked by only minutes before. But, now as it became emptier and emptier, you couldn't help but notice that the sound of his boots and your sneakers oddly clashed against the walls in echoing bangs. "Kesesesese! My ego is perfect! It is wunderbar! It. Is. Awesome!"

"Whatever floats your boat, Gilly-boy."

"Zat vould be awesome beer for my _equally _awesome raft."

You growled, glancing at him from the corner of your eyes. "So?"

He snorted, his next exclamation making it sound as though you were a complete fool for not understanding the words that were now coming out of his mouth. "So? **SO **you need to go get me a drink! HAHA! You're such a domkopf, frauline."

Basically fuming with anger and frustration, you chose to instead grit your teeth and make that moron wait for your response before you exploded with it in his face as you shoved open the double doors to the school. Feeling the liberating air of the outside environment, you stomped along the sidewalk. He had been pestering you for drinks for several months now. You had always assumed he was just so cheap he wanted to mooch off of your wallet for a buzz instead of pulling out his own spare change. But now…now his requests became more frequent. Gilbert took every available opportunity to try and make it look as though you owed him a beverage. Frankly, however, you are simply clueless when it comes to things like this, so you just always respond by shrugging it off and tossing the subject aside in your agitation. Yet this was becoming too obnoxious to handle. "What the hell will it take for you to stop bothering me about this supposed liquid debt, Beilshmidt?" Gilbert released a triumphant "AHA!" in response, pumping his fist into the air before leading onto the dialogue he had prepared in his head.

"I am glad you asked, -!" Clearing his throat, the German continued. "Vell…...it is very simple, actually. All you have to do is beat me in a game of _CHALLENGE _and zhen your debt vill be relinquished!"

Your eyes widened, causing you to once more spin around to face him. "That's it?" CHALLENGE had been a game invented by a group of your peers (specifically yourself and Gilbert). It was basically like Truth or Dare…but without the Truth part….and two or more people participated in the dare. One person would exclaim a "challenge", however difficult and impossible it may seem, and the winner of the group/couple of said challenge is able to demand ANYTHING from the looser/s. There are no limits, no boundaries, and no other rules. It was dangerous and fun, causing the game to be one she found herself constantly doing with that arrogant playboy (ironic, eh?). But that was all he wanted? How easy! How _ridiculously_ easy!

Gilbert nodded. "Ja. Zat's it."

"Pfffft!" You folded your arms, inquisitively raising an eyebrow. Your voice edged with caution, you had instantly lost a tiny bit of enthusiasm as soon as the words had escaped your lips. Whatever he was up to couldn't be very good. "First off, before I agree to anything…what's the challenge?"

His deep ruby eyes twinkled evilly in response to your quiry. "Whoever gets ze flag off ze pole first vins. Zat is all!" Gilbert spread his arms, aiming them towards the monument about 30 yards away. That very flag was floppily hanging on its perch, hungrily grasping onto whatever tiny trace of breeze it could consume in the humidity. Woah. This was going to be even easier then you thought.

Hold on a second….

You squinted.

Damn, that was up pretty high.

Damn.

_DAMN. _

Fine. It would be fun, even if you fell to your doom. And on the bright side, if you died you would no longer be haunted by his lingering accent and incessant antics.

"Consider that challenge accepted, Beilshmidt!" His smirk widened, and you couldn't help but sport one of your own. You were a confident person and knew that you had this in the bag. There was no way he could beat you.

Gilbert stuck out his hand, as you did yours, and you found your slender fingers suddenly clasped in the warmth of his gloves. The pact was made.

_There was no way he could beat you. _

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_**THIS TIME SKIP IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY GILBIRD. **_

_**~ABOUT 27 MINUTES LATER~**_

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"I can't believe I lost."

You solemnly frowned towards the ground, propping your head on your fists as you sat on at the base of someone else's victory. Gilbert was triumphantly dancing around you, waving his prize in your face much as a small child would swing around a recently acquired toy. Gosh, his laugh would now be forever stuck in your ears after the painful failure you just had to endure. Just thinking about the look on his face as he snatched the victory fabric from right above your grasp, as you were pushed down in your humiliation with a boot shoved in your face and a bullet in your heart, was enough to drive you mad.

Nothing had ever been more embarrassing.

"Ich bin ein Gewinner! Du bist ein Looser! Suck it! Saugen Sie es dumm Looser! Ich bin ein Gewinner und ich bin toll! Kesesesesesese!" The taunting words of your defeat drifted into his song. The German then jumped in front of your depressing form, bent over, and waved his trophy in your face as his wiggled his butt in joy.

What an asshole.

You swatted the flag aside, finding your eyes meeting with his. You were not as angry as your were terrified of what he might do for your loosing point. Your frown deepening, you simply awaited your punishment in a slumping silence.

His smile, however, was unwavering.

"So, [NAME]. You are completely at my mercy, ja?"

_"Ja"_

You quietly grumbled. He continued his chuckles, his smiles, and his moronic dance of happiness, while all along you wanted nothing more than to punch him in the gut and get it over with. But even with the drenching temptation, you found yourself at a dead end. Just that single "Ja", that tiny, seemingly insignificant reply….it was enough to kill you.

"HAHA! YOU have LOST to my awesomeness, frauline! Now, your consequence shall be repaying your debt and TAKING ME OUT FOR A DRINK!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**PREVIOUSLY ON, "TO SECURE A GILBIRD"…..**_

You lost to the ever-so-awesome Gilbert in an attempt to free yourself from his reign of annoyance. However, this tragically ended with you as a _**failure**_ and he as a _**smexy victor**_. Now in the palms of his hands, you find yourself trapped into taking him out for drinks. Enjoy your time as his (sex slave) beer buddy.

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"Don't give me that look…..you know as well as I do I'm looking more forward to my own _funera_l then going with him"

You knit your brow, frowning towards the mirror in front of you.

"I know, I know, still, it might even end up be some fu-"

Suddenly, your eyes ferociously widened and appeared to snap back into reality with your consciousness.

"What the hell am I talking about?! This is going to be a NIGHTMARE! That bastard'll hold it over my head for ages!" You sighed, placing a hand on your forehead. It really _was_ a nightmare. Never in a million years had you pictured yourself doing anything of this relative nature. Especially _not_ with Gilbert Beilshmidt. Sure, you guys had gone to things like parties or libraries or parks together…..but it had always been with other people around. This would be the first time you two would be completely alone in a public place that did NOT include that school grounds. It brought a shiver up your spine to think about the evening ahead. You could practically see those crimson pupils of his as they tauntingly leaned closer to you, a grin planted on his face as he patted your head and stole a vital article of clothing from right off your back while hanging it beyond your capacity for reaching. Still, a deal was a deal, and you wouldn't be caught dead breaking your word.

"I just don't understand why he insisted on this, you know?" While inquiring, you found yourself looking up and down your body. You had simply put on jeans and [YOUR FAVORITE SHIRT], as well as [YOUR FAVORITE COLOR] converse. It was an average outfit you had worn a thousand times and had decided to wear for the 1001 time…with that albino moron.

"Unless all he wants to do is torment me till my ears bleed and my eyes explode, frankly, I see no reason for his constant persistence."

You sighed. "What am I going to do, Edwardo?" Turning from the reflective surface of the glass, you starred sadly to the orange tabby cat perched lazily on your bed. "It just makes no sense. He's such a demon-douche. I can't stand him." The feline only rolled on its back, turning away from you.

Great, not only were you talking to a cat, you were now talking to a cat's ass.

This night just got better and better, huh?

But what were you going to do about it? You'd go downstairs with a stiff upper lip and possibly a ski mask to hide your blushing (something which you still couldn't understand. It must be caused by anger? Right? Right…Right? Yeah. Anger). You were going to meet him at this supposed bar and just get it over with. And who knows…..maybe you'd get drunk off your own ass and simply allow all your troubles to be washed away in the warm embrace of alcohol.

That sounded nice.

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_**THIS TIME SKIP IS NOW BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOPERATION BETWEEN FLYING MINT BUNNY AND GILBIRD. THAT'S RIGHT, I SHIP IT. PROBLEM?**_

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It was a staring contest to the death. Truly, the world had never before experienced such a deadly clashing of eyeballs and stubbornness. The caliber of vicious hostility that was being sent between both furious glares reached such an unbelievably high level that neighboring planets would feel the shuddering awkwardness without requiring the assistance of high-radio frequency detecting equipment. The nearby groups of people had already scooted out of a ten-yard radius as to avoid being caught in the mental 1 on 1 battle. Gilbert's hands only continued to tighten around the top of the bar stool while he maintained a sturdy grasp on that very seating arrangement he had pulled out only minutes before.

Yes, that's right.

You two had been like this for about 6 ½ minutes.

So, as you cautiously glared into his mischievous grin (the grin that was now twitching due to the fact he had been struggling to hold it for about as long as he had held the chair), you found yourself continually debating whether or not to torture him by standing up or actually sitting down in the offered placement. Not _once_ before had he ever displayed even the _slightest_ form of mannerly male etiquette, leading you to be less then trusting when he just ***BAM*** decided to suddenly take it upon himself to become a gentlemen.

You'd have to be a moron to not be suspicious.

And now, while both your faces were beginning to turn purple from lack of air inhalation (somehow you ended up holding your breath), you were faced with the decision of going down or remaining up. It was a seemingly simple decision, yet somehow that exact simplicity is what left you so indecisive.

However, unfortunately, the rules of the challenge required your full cooperation in the situation presented. You may wish to stall it, though you could not _prevent_ it.

"Beeilen, [NAME]. I…..don't…have…all…..night." He grumbled through the gritted teeth of his wavering smile. Your eyes not leaving his, you decided to finally just "go with the flow" and suck it up.

You sat down.

But, of course, you couldn't help but wince and clench your hands into fists as your butt almost made contact with the flat, cushiony surface of the stool. Bracing yourself for the worst, your entire life literally flashed before your eyes. Well, not _literally_…..and not your _entire _life….only the other three million incidents in which Gilbert Beilshmidt ripped out a chair from beneath your buns a mere instant before you would actually sit. Yet, much to your surprise, you DIDN'T become victim to that jackass (that jackass also known as gravity, also known as some strange force your German enemy seemed to have the power to manipulate) and collapse into a heap of anger and annoyance on the floor.

For some reason, that expected outcome was not that in which replaced the tons of preceding events. He released the seat and walked to its brother beside you, also sitting down. Somehow he had managed to keep his smile, though it was not as strained as it had been during their war. You could tell he was silently brooding over the achievement as though it was some sort of "victory", but being so used to him basically jumping up on the nearest table and shouting his accomplishments to the world, you happened to mostly overlook that.

"Verdammt, war das so schwer?"

"Yeah. Yeah it was that hard."

He snorted. "Your just too stubborn", he placed a hand on his chest in his signature lecturing position as he continued, "I bet zat's because of my earlier victory. Ha ha, it made you upset! But you better get used to it, frauline. Vhen in my awesome presence you vill find yourself alvays loosing, even when I let you win, you still loose!"

You facepalmed. A couple more hours of this and you'd commit suicide. But if you saw no reason to drone him out with the bitter taste of alcohol. Signaling the waiter, you could only do your best to not look at Gilbert's stupid red eyes on his stupid head.


End file.
